Well at least they don’t do this anymore… Though I wonder if they would have put a few words under my name like an obituary:
A beloved daughter of god was taken from our fold today. Her time in the true church will be cherished. The bitter sting of polyandry, Egyptology, anthropology, doctrinal contradictions, deceit, and rational thinking stole this daughter away from us too soon, like a thief in the night. She will sometimes be missed, and other times her name will pass with a warning on our lips. Forever shall we cling to the warm whispers in our hearts that her actions were misguided. Let us keep her memory in our hearts, but only milky doctrine in our minds. If we but read another vague inspirational quote from our leaders, and speak of only what confirms what we’ve been so lovingly taught, we will be honoring the memory of our once line-towing, unquestionably obedient sister. A gossip service will be held on the 2nd Sunday of this month. She is survived by her devout family and deceased pioneer ancestors.
Okay, I may be exaggerating the unquestionably obedient part… 😉