Sometimes we need someone who understands. There are so many amazing resources for those who have left the LDS church, and we hope to provide a centralized hub of where those resources both online and offline can be found. We’re still in the process of building the site but we hope to be a source of support to anyone out there who has left the Mormon church, and consistently add new links and references.
If you’d like to volunteer to help us with this project, please contact us.
My update on this is a little belated as life has been incredibly busy, but we received our letters confirming our resignation last month! Our letters arrived about a month after sending our initial letter to our bishop. It was honestly a little anti-climactic as I had already come to terms with my decision by the end of last year, but it felt good nonetheless. I feel at peace knowing that I’m not at all associated with an organization that I feel is dishonest, unethical, and harmful.
We haven’t received our official “you’re out” letters yet, but I was curious to look around my LDS.org account. The “directory” and “calendar” return with the “Access Denied” page. Under my account details, I was pleasantly pleased to see the notice that I’ve stated I’m not a member. There seems to be a link, though, to change your membership status… online?! That would be interesting. So if you have a change of heart, you could just “flip the switch” in theory.
Out of curiosity I clicked on the link. Nothing. Being a web person I figured that maybe the link only works in Internet Explorer (the boon of a web developers life, if you were wondering.) In IE, the styling was stripped, and the link wasn’t even clickable. Looking at the code, it seems that there is no URL on the link.
So maybe this is something from “under the hood” that they’re working on to allow people to become a member again really easily, and perhaps it was accidentally made live before the functionality was put in place. Makes sense to me. Make it difficult to remove your records and don’t even list the procedure for it online, but if someone wants to become a member again, just have them click a button! I’m sure that follow-up would be required per the leadership manual, but this could potentially ping your local leadership about your desire to come back.
Looks like there’s still some work to do though. They should pay their web developers some extra tithing money to get this thing working ASAP, don’t you think?
One of my favorite episodes. The creator of this show, Brian Keith Dalton, is a fellow Ex-Mormon. His Mr. Deity show on youTube is hilarious and thought provoking at the same time. He has also done a Mormon Stories podcast with John Dehlin prior to his presentation at the Sunstone Symposium in 2010.
Feminists and intellectuals were the greatest threat to the church of my youth, or so I was told directly and indirectly in sooo many ways. The LDS message to young women was… Stay stupid but get a degree so we can say you are smart. Accept inferiority but praise and embrace it so we can say it is justified. And whatever you do, deny your individual value independent of marriage to a priesthood holder so that without him, you will feel worthless. This way, we can say that of your own free will, Mormonism completes you.
A comment from someone on this excellent blog post: http://xojane.com/issues/kate-kelly-ordain-women-excommunication
This article pulled at my heart strings. I was thinking the other day how hard it is to relate to people who have fundamental differences in belief about life and its purpose. It is difficult, but not impossible to maintain relationships with people you disagree with, and relationships that mean something to you are worth the work. Not only that, but I think it’s incredibly beneficial to expose yourself to viewpoints that are different than your own on a regular basis, if not only to re-evaluate your own assumptions. At the same time, it can be incredibly painful to watch our loved ones in the church tip-toe around conversations with us, nod and smile when we mention an outing with another apostate, or talk to us about the wonderful lessons they learned in church as if we were missing out or never stopped believing.
“Every time you look at Buddy now does your unshakable faith automatically remind you that he’s doomed, that this theological rift is so important that mostly you just feel sorry for him and sorrier for yourself?”
One of the main goals I have for this site is to help people navigate their relationships with people in the church after leaving. It’s something I struggle with, and something I know many Ex-Mormons struggle with as well. The pain is real. The only person anyone can really work on in a relationship is themselves, though, as Robert Kirby from the Salt Lake Tribune adds as a reminder:
“Another note: This also applies to nonbelievers who so firmly suppose they’re smarter than believers that they can’t relate to their loved ones anymore either.”
Sometimes what hurts the most are the words that go unsaid, the passive remarks from someone in your life about “people who leave the church”, the quiet looks of disapproval for something that you did or said. I’ve heard several remarks from people who no longer have traditional testimonies in the church but who choose to stay because Mormons are “their people”. But how much of that is the fear of finding out how much strain will be put on your relationships with those in the church once you’re labeled an outsider? My integrity has to conquer that fear every single day.
“Religion (faith, gospel, church or whatever you choose to call it) isn’t just divisive because we exclude and sometimes even kill one another over it. It’s also great at silently torturing loving relationships to death.”
Technically now, she is a woman with the priesthood. I’m interested to see the church’s decision on her case, but I’m not expecting anything earth-shattering or un-expected. At least she’s come to terms that she probably won’t ever be allowed in the temple. Her parents are so great. Loving that she has such supportive people(…)